Have you seen the movie Amadeus?
It won 8 Oscars in 1984. If you haven’t seen it, don’t miss it—it’s a cinematic gem. Directed by Milos Forman, the film tells a fictionalized story of envy through the professional and personal relationship between Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and the Italian court composer Antonio Salieri. It shows how Salieri, consumed by jealousy of Mozart’s talent, plans to end the genius’s life, leaving behind a Requiem composed by Mozart himself, which is performed at his funeral. The movie illustrates how envy is self-destructive, ultimately affecting both Mozart’s life and Salieri’s moral integrity.
Have you ever felt the envy of some other performer?
Or felt your own envy toward a professional colleague?
WHAT IS ENVY?
Envy is the feeling that arises when you desire the possessions, qualities, or relationships that someone else has—and it doesn’t just hurt, but you also believe that you will never be able to obtain what they have. You can’t bear that pain and may wish to destroy the other person emotionally, psychologically, or even physically.
It’s not that you want what they have; it’s that you want what they have, and you want them not to have it.
In envy, we compare ourselves, and in that comparison, we lose.
Envy keeps you attached to another person under dynamics created by envy itself.
Usually, the envious person doesn’t recognize their own envy, because bringing it to consciousness would open the wound. It would mean confronting the pain. Unable to deal with it, the fantasy (sometimes acted out) of destroying the other person feels more satisfying. Emotionally, the envious person feels that by projecting their pain onto someone else, they regain a sense of mental, emotional, and physiological balance.
The envious person may be partly aware of this—or not. They may distort reality through arrogance or subtle pride, identifying so closely with these attitudes that they appear strong, concerned about others, empathetic, and attentive to what you do.
Envy in Daily Life and Performance
Examples in performance or sports:
-
Musicians who envy a colleague’s phrasing, technical skill, or stage charisma.
-
Actors who envy the confidence or emotional depth of a fellow performer.
-
Athletes who envy the strength, speed, or resilience of a teammate or competitor.
-
Coaches or instructors who envy the talent or recognition of their students.
Often, the envious person will not admit that criticism or distance is fueled by envy. You may notice yourself being overly critical or dismissive of others—ask: Could this be a disguised form of envy?
Criticism in group settings, like rehearsal rooms, locker rooms, or team meetings can also be a way to soothe one’s own envy by attacking others in conversation and feeling supported. The problem with envy is that it ultimately harms us.
Envy’s Dynamics
-
ADMIRATION – The other has something I don’t have, I want it, and I look for ways to achieve it myself. This is often called healthy envy. But sometimes self-esteem is low, and then you might feel…
-
JEALOUSY – The other has something I don’t have, it hurts, I feel resentment and sadness. When the pain is unbearable, you might then feel…
-
ENVY – The other has something I don’t have, it hurts, I feel longing, and since I can’t tolerate the envy, I want to destroy it. I might aim to destroy what the other has, or undermine the other—ignoring their successes, highlighting small flaws, comparing constantly… The envious person suffers greatly. In situations of perceived injustice, the desire to…
-
REVENGE – The other has something I will never have; it hurts and I feel attacked. I don’t just want to destroy, I want to actively punish the other for having what I lack.
You may have been a victim of someone else’s envy without realizing it.
In close relationships, you might feel low self-esteem, shame, guilt, or caution in being yourself, sharing your achievements, or expressing yourself fully. You feel the need to avoid hurting others with your successes or joys, and subtly underestimated by them.
Sometimes envy comes from our parents. For example: a child returns from school excitedly sharing achievements, expecting their mother’s full attention. An insecure mother with unmet needs in her own childhood may experience the child’s joy and success as a reminder of what she lacked. She might unconsciously envy the child’s spontaneity and joy, diminishing it, mocking it, or pointing out mistakes under the guise of playful guidance.
In envy, you may feel that the other is always more and you are always less. Even when life goes well for you, the other can make you feel insignificant through indifference or distance.
GETTING HOOKED ON OTHERS
Sometimes a feeling of dependency arises—you lose self-esteem and a sense of self-worth. The unequal relationship makes you continually seek the other’s approval, because they appear attentive and caring. You feel valued, yet your sense of self diminishes.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU FEEL ENVY
If you feel envy, turn your attention inward, not outward. Observe yourself:
-
How envy affects your behavior
-
How it makes you feel
-
What you are thinking at this moment
Reflect on how often these feelings appear and where they lead you. Ask yourself:
-
What purpose does this envy serve?
-
What happens if I let go of this envy?
If letting go makes you feel better, then why not release it? If not, try saying: I cannot let go of this envy now—and acknowledge yourself for the honesty and self-awareness.
Finally, ask: Is it true that I am less valuable because I don’t have what the other has?
Being present also helps transform envy into curiosity. Instead of resenting a fellow performer or competitor, you notice what draws your attention and ask: What can I learn? How can I cultivate my own authentic version of this skill?
PRACTICAL REFLECTION
Try this exercise before your next rehearsal, performance, or game:
-
Identify someone whose skills you admire. Observe without judgment for a few minutes.
-
Notice your feelings of envy or self-judgment. Label them.
-
Ask yourself: What can I learn? How can I develop my own authentic version of this skill?
-
Focus on presence—your body, your technique, your mind—instead of comparing yourself.
IMPACT ON PERFORMANCE
Envy, if unrecognized, can:
-
Distract from your focus
-
Reduce spontaneity and authenticity
-
Limit creative problem-solving in the moment
-
Increase stress, anxiety, and self-criticism
Conversely, awareness of envy and cultivating presence can:
-
Transform comparison into curiosity
-
Enhance creative expression
-
Increase resilience and adaptability under pressure
-
Deepen authentic connection with your art, teammates, or audience
Featured image: still from the film Amadeus (1984), © Warner Bros./Neal Peters Collection. Actor Tom Hulce as Mozart.
